she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
