Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
