If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
