you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
