I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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