I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize