The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
