I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize