Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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