I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
