He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
