U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
