If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't deserve a penis
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
