I CAN MOONWALK!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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