after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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