At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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