What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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