dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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