she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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