go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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