do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
