They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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