so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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