she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
