is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
