somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
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The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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