I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
