Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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