Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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