so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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