We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
