I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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