It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
its liver damage thursday
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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