he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
