Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
