im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize