someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize