When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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