So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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