just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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