a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
