Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
