I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
