I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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