is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
