Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my poor anus
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
