go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
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im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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