My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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