Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Randomize
