I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.