Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'