So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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