She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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